Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
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