We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
