Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
