Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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