am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
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It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
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Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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