Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Is it penis luge time yet?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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