I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
