If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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