This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
