in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
