Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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