Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize