he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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