I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
