i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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