THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
