so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Boobs are out for the taking
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
