my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
