You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
