Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
