my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize