Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
