You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
