it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
