But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So much rum. So many feels.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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