If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
