thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
