I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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