tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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