honey bunches of taint.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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