You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
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Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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