just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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