this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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