it wasn't lemon gatorade
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
