i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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