I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
