Having a random hookup so left but love u
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
