she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
