dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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