babies were throwing up all over the place
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
His hands were made for my vagina.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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