Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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