i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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