Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
