dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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