Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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