I love black thongs
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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