I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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