I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
