Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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