a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
