I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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