Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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