It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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