I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
