i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
