Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
