The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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