yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
it's great music for shaving your balls
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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