So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
