Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
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