I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
