listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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