she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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