Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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