Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
