well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
