i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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