I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize